SONIC MCDONALDS
by GRRGRR8492
Summary: What is the meaning of life? Why are we here? What if the sonic characters worked at mcdonalds and shadow got killed by toast?


One day shadow the hedgehog was sleeping when suddenly his alarm clock omega yelled BEEP BEEP BEEP. "OHHHHH FUCK!" said shadow because he was late for his shift at mcdonalds. He had been up really late doing edgy shit like stealing candy from babies and pushing old ladies into the path of speding trains, and he had overslept.

He found some bread and then put it inside omega because omega is also a toaster. "BBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT" said omega, like a toaster that was really drunk and forgot how to do its job. "HURRY UP IM LATE" yelled shadow. "DING DING TOAST COMPLETE" said omega and then then toast came flying out of his toast hole so fast that it hit shadow in the head and he died. "OPPPS TOAST ERROR" said omega.

"what the fuck happened here" said rouge, who had just got out of bed, and was feeling very puzzled at the sight of shadow lying dead on the floor with a toast shapped hole in his head.

"Omega how could you? You killed shadow! Now he'll never get to his shift at mcdonalds!" Shadow was the ultimate lifeform but even he was no match for some really fast toast.

"Well this sucks, you better go put him in a hole said rouge" "BEEP BEEP FUNERAL TIME" said omega as he picked up shadows body and took it outside to the garden. Omega transformed into an excavator and dug a big hole and put shadow inside the hole and then called the pope. The pope aggreed to say some remembering words about shadow and said he would come to the funeral right away.

The pope flew from the pope lair to omega and rouges house in his space ship. He got out and was crying like a sad shark that had just seen its father made into a can of shark fin soup. "Ohh shadow, my one true love, cried the pope, i'll never enjoy the exquisite flavour of your balls in my mouth again!" It turns out shadow and the pope were super secret sex boyfriends.

The pope put some flowers in shadows toast hole. Then he stepped back "rest in peice, my ultimate sex friend" he said and then he got out his flamethrowwer. FFFFFFFFFFFFWWWWWWOOOOSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH said the flamethrower as it cremeted shadow. "the funeral is now complete said the pope and then he flew away.

"Well shit, now shadow cant work at mcdonalds beacuse hes dead" said rouge to omega. We have no money now and cant afford food so we will have to canabalise each other like poor people. "CHOMP CHOMP" said omega and they ate each other.

Meanwhile at mcdonalds was in chaos! usually it was shadows job to cook the burgers but because he was dead it meant blaze had to do it. Blaze was not good at her job, the burgers were all on fire. "heres your order sir" said tails as he handed a flaming big mac to middle aged man. "yummy thankyou OUCH" screamed middle aged man as he fell over dead from severe mouth burns. "This food is DISCUSTING im never eating here again" yelled another customer as their face melted off.

"Blaze can you maybe not cook the burgers so long, the customers are getting really angry and dead" said tails. Blaze was very unimpressed by this critique of her cooking skills so she used her fire powers to set tail's tails on fire. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH screammed tails, like a beautiful peecock that had been thrown into a wood chipper.

"Hey tails, long time no see, hows your day going" said sonic who had just arrived at work. "OH GOD IM ON FIRE SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME" screamed tails, as he dashed past sonic, leaving a trail of flame behind him. "Ha ha, that tails and his wacky antics" laughed sonic as he walked off to get ready for his shift.

Knuckles was working in the drive thru. knuckels was angry, like an echidna who had just found out that the house he had spent years building was full of ghosts. The drive thru sucks because it is like a congo line of fat bogan bitch-ass motherfuckers who like to shout. "grrr said knukles, if i have to serve one more mcfuckwit im going to shove an entire box of fries up my arsehole and shoot them out like a gattling gun."

Then another car came into the drive thru except it wasnt a car it was a retarted looking train with a face. It was thomas the tank engine!

"PEEEP PEEP BITCHES ITS TIME FOR THOMASES LUCNCH SAID THOMAS". "Welcome to station sqaure mcdonalds, what can i get for you today" said knuckles. "PUFF PUFF hmmm let me think ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... i will have 10 MILLION CHOCOLATE SHACKS...WITH PICKLES!" said thomis the wank tank. "Our shake machine is broken" said knuckles. "WELL YOU BETTER GO BE A REAL USEFUL ENGINE AND FIX IT BEFORE I SHUNT A TRUCK RIGHT UP YOUR BIG RED FUCKHOLE" screamed thomas, raping knuckels ears through the shitty drive thru headset.

THATS IT I DONT CARE IF I GET FIRED FUCK ALL OF THIS SHIT said knuckles, loading fries into his butt. FUCK YOU MCDONALDS KNuckels yelled as he took aim at thomas. "PEW PEW PEW" said knuckles's butt hole as fries tore into thomas like a hungry stegosaurus eating a human. Soon thomas had so many holes in him, he was a pile of dead train doughnuts blocking the drive thru. Knuckles jumped out the drive thru window and glided away from his shitty minimum wage job, wondering why he even had a job in the first place when he has his own island with a giant fucking emerald hes supposed to be protecting.

Meanwhile an angry mum was charging towards the front counter where sonic was working, shaking her fist like it was a bottle of pancake mix filled with earthquakes. "RONALD MCDONALD IS BEING A DICK TO CHILDREN IN THE PLAYGROUND" she yelled at sonic. "THATS NO GOOD" said sonic and he fasted over to the play ground.

When sonic got there he saw the ronald mcdonalds was inddeed standing on top of the playground like a strippy yellow fuck. "ha haha your all fat and ugly and have tiny dicks" yelled ronald mcdonld to a group of traumatised childrem was hidding in the corner crying. "Hey, stop that " said sonic as ronald mcdonald shat into the happy meal of a girl with no arms or legs. "Im the dictator of all mcondlads, i do what i want" siad donald mcronald. "waahhhh" said the children like a group of sad warios.

"hmmm i have to stop him somehow" thought snoc. "I know, ill climb up the slide to reach him!. So sonic started climbing up the big multi coloured slide that ronalds mcdonld was standing on, ignoreing the sign that said do not climb the slide because he is such a rebel.

"oh sonic u such a naughty hegehog climbing my enormous slide like that" giggled ronald mcdonald. Hey why is this slide moving said sonic. Then he relised the truth "WAIT A MINUTE THIS ISNT A SLIDE"said sonic. "ha ha ha correct its actually MY PENIS" exclaimed ronald mcdonald. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" said sonic.

Then ronalds mmcdonald ate 10 vigagaras and his flacid slide turned upwards and grew towards the sky with sonic still trapped inside, like an erotic space shuttle. "look at that beautiful vertical rainbow coming from mconlads" said a random onlooker. The erect slide got so high that a plane decided to crash into it. "CRASH BOOOOOOOOOOM" said the plane and the slide dick collapsed on the mcdonalds playground, crushing ronald mcdonald, all the children he was absuing, and sonic to death.

"Oh no sonics dead" said tails, who had finally manged to extinguish the inferno in his tails. "He died doing what he loved" said blaze "oh look, our shifts over, lets get out of here". They had been sad but now were happy, like people who got their head trapped in a vending machine but then realised they could enjoy its delicous snacks for free. "Alls well that ends well right?" said tails as he and blaze walked out the door of the burning and partly crushed mcdonalds.

FIN


End file.
